Talk is never cheap. In fact, according to Erika Weinstein, the wrong kind of talk can harm you personally and professionally.
In a recent article, Ms. Weinstein, the CEO of an executive search firm, discusses the phrases that can stunt your career. Those phrases are important, to be sure, but her real message is that they reveal a generally bad attitude. Here are my five top favorites:
- “It’s not fair.” ‒ Life isn’t fair, so get over it. The people doing the best work are sucking it up and moving ahead with good ideas and action despite injustices.
- “That’s not my job.” ‒ If you’re not seen as a team player and “come off as an indifferent, removed, and self-centered employee,” your chances of advancement are pretty poor. To that I’d add, that unless you’re asked to do something illegal, unethical, or cruel, you need to dive in and get it done.
- We’ve always done it that way.” ‒ Creative thinking and problem solving are important workplace values. Ms. Weinstein counsels taking a moment to think before you react negatively to something new. I say don’t let fear of the unknown (and failure) stand in your way.
- “That’s impossible.” ‒ Here, you’re conveying a “pessimistic, passive, even hopeless outlook.” I think this response is closely related to “we’ve always done it that way” and is probably part of the same person’s communication patterns.
- “I don’t have the time for this right now.” ‒ According to Ms. Weinstein, this conveys a unwelcome superior attitude, as in you feel you’re too important to take the time to listen. In my opinion, it’s similar to “Don’t bring me any bad news.” Each phrase isolates the person who utters it from information that might be helpful—and certainly discourages the development of open communication.
Ms. Weinstein recommends that we record our side of a phone conversation and ask a trusted colleague to listen to it and comment on how we’re doing. She also suggests jotting down phrases that work and those that don’t on a notepad. I like the latter suggestion, because it feels like a more practical way to develop the self-awareness needed to drive better communications and a better work life.
Leave a Comment