Thinking about stress and how to deal with it is a topic that can probably induce anxiety. Even saying the word can conjure up a feeling of helplessness or a stomach tied in knots. (Everyone has different images of stress. One of my friends thinks of sleeplessness.)
The article “Stress is your brain trying to avoid something” by Art Markman, PhD is an absolute gem. In less than a thousand well-chosen words, Mr. Markman explains what stress is and what you can do to address it.
So what, actually, is stress? “Stress is an emotional response; like all emotional responses, it emerges from the functioning of the motivational system,” says Mr. Markman. Stress is a negative emotion and is typically all about a goal you’re not achieving. Perhaps you’re in danger of missing a deadline or on the verge of losing an important client. Or maybe you’re not meeting some previously-agreed-upon metric.
The avoidance system is the “motivational component” of stress. You’re trying to avoid an undesirable outcome but haven’t yet been successful in that effort. Whew! You’re basically living on edge, and you feel bad.
What to do?
Mr. Markman suggests three things.
First, figure out what you’re avoiding. Sounds simple, eh? But if you’re dealing with long-term stress with non-obvious triggers, you may need to talk to someone who can offer you the gift of objectivity. Interestingly, it may turn out that the issues you’re stressed about aren’t important enough to generate what you’re experiencing. And if you can identify the source of your stress, you can probably figure out a way to fix the problem.
Then, reframe the situation. “If your daily work life is stressful, you may be focusing too much on what can go wrong. Instead, start thinking about the desirable aspects of work,” says Mr. Markman. Think about what you want to achieve, and you’ll engage your approach motivational system, which is all to the good.
Last, learn and use self-soothing techniques. This is particularly important if you can’t reframe the situation—when it’s just plain bad. You can try mindfulness meditation or try disengaging from your workplace and focusing on your breath. Go sit in your car if you need to or find an obscure meeting room, if such a thing exists in your workplace. You can also exercise during the middle of the day, which is a dandy way to give the motivational energy from the avoidance system some place to go.
Like so many techniques, these require practice to work. I’m thinking that just trying them, even if they don’t work immediately, can give you the feeling that you’re taking practical steps to address a problem—and that, in itself, can calm your stress a bit.
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