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Has your perfectionism brought more misery than joy to your life?

Sure, most of us get satisfaction from a job well done. But often the process of delivering that job can make us miserable. In “How to Manage Your Perfectionism,” freelance writer Rebecca Knight quotes coach Matt Plummer, who says, “A lot of perfectionistic tendencies are rooted in fear and insecurity.” We’re perfectionists because we fear that if we’re not, we won’t end up performing well and we’ll damage our reputations. (I recommend reading the article because two case studies at the end present people who have dealt with perfectionism in real life and won.)

In this article, Mr. Plummer and Alice Boyes, author of The Healthy Mind Toolkit and The Anxiety Toolkit talk about understanding and dealing with the consequences of perfectionism and accepting that you will not be able to do everything perfectly.

“See the big picture”

Mr. Plummer and co-author Jo Wilson note that it’s important to consider the opportunity cost and time of perfectionism, asking yourself if you’re making smart use of your time. Focus on what’s important and look to maximizing your impact rather than on polishing every project to a high gloss. Be aware of the law of diminishing returns.

 “Adjust your standards”

Get feedback on your efforts early in your process, and you may well discover that you’re doing fine. Feedback, of course, will help you improve. And Ms. Boyes point out that your work “doesn’t have to be the final word, it just has to contribute something useful.”

“Create a checklist”

Without a checklist, you’ll likely get lost in the weeds. So build a checklist for each task you’re working on. When you check each item on the list off, you’re done, which defeats your tendency to keep at a job long after diminishing returns have kicked in.

 “Break the cycle of rumination”

Do you ruminate? I sure do, and though we used to laugh about it in my family as the fruit of OCD, it’s really not pleasant or productive. Ms. Boyes points out that rumination is anxiety-related and that ruminants are less forgiving of themselves than others. Rumination is a cycle that requires disruption. You can—and should—figure out your triggers, find ways to divert yourself, realize that you probably can’t trust your ruminations, and make a point of thinking of all the tasks you’ve done successfully. The article goes into further detail on each of these techniques, so I recommend checking it out.

“Get perspective”

For heaven’s sake, talk to someone with whom you can be open and comfortable—definitely not the office smarty-pants. Ms. Boyes suggests that you be clear that you want the person you choose to be honest. Promise you’ll think about what they say, even if you’re initially defensive. And then, of course, don’t renege on that commitment.

“Monitor your progress”

Review your progress every week, so that you can learn where your perfectionism has positive and negative impact. Negative impact, for example, is when you avoid doing something or procrastinate because you’re afraid of making mistakes. Mr. Plummer points out that in addressing perfectionism you’re “redirecting your personality,” rather than “changing course.”

Helpful?

I found this article helpful because I tend toward perfectionism. This can hinder a freelance content creator, though I have not generally found that it gets in my way. Where my perfectionism is hardest to overcome is with this blog. It’s not difficult to come up with an editorial calendar filled with valuable topics, but getting the writing done can be a lot harder. What I found helpful in this article is the suggestion to focus on sharing information that make a useful contribution.

We’re all insanely busy. I like to think that I come across great thinking that readers may not have time to ferret out and that I may be able to encourage them to seek out more from a writer whose ideas they like.

Photo credit: Andriy Popov – 123rf.com

 

What is emotional resilience and, just as important, how do you develop it?

I bet we all have days when we don’t feel emotionally resilient. As the day comes to an end, we feel thrashed, and sleep doesn’t come easily. Perhaps we dread the next day, because we fear it may not be any better.

What happened? Someone denigrated our efforts on an important project at work. Perhaps we had yet another encounter with someone who always seems unpleasant or snippy. Maybe we’re in the middle of a trying family situation. The list is endless, really. And we need to find a way to crest the waves of stress more easily.

Coach Leo Widrich (@LeoWid) acknowledges that emotional resilience isn’t a skill acquired overnight, but he believes that a practical understanding of how the brain functions can put us on a path that will help us “stay present under challenging circumstances and remain positive during stressful days.”

Here are some things you need to know about your brain to help you get started:

• It’s all about your body. Widrich notes that most of our signals—some 80% in fact—go from the body to the brain. Our vagus nerve runs from our gut through our heart and lungs, to our face and ear canal and into our brain. The vagus nerve is the source of bodily sensations, that sinking feeling you get when things aren’t going well, for example. And, on a more a positive note, it’s also the transmitter of happiness. Mr. Widrich suggests that you ask yourself what your body is trying to tell you and “hold space for that experience,” instead of trying to exert control over it.
• Be aware of your amygdala. This tricky little guy is “sometimes called the emotion center of our brains,” and it can kick in, in a bad way, when someone criticizes you and you respond with anger or feel fear or anxiety. Your amygdala becomes active and takes over from your neocortex—the thinking part of your brain—and you say or do stupid things. This is sometimes referred to as “amygdala hijack.” Mr. Widrich notes that Dr. Dan Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA School of Medicine, has written a whole book about “flipping your lid.”
• Our voices provide important signals to our brains. It appears that our brains rely on the emotional content of our voices to assess our safety. I remember watching a documentary about the Iditarod and hearing one of the participants talk about the high-pitched voice she used to praise her dogs. Mr. Widrich says, “The safety signal was a medium to slightly high frequency pitched voice. This is often the voice we make when talking to babies, where we naturally raise our voices and speak making cooing sounds. It calms and soothes them, as it does for us.” Interesting, eh?
• Understand how stress changes brain chemistry. This is a really important one. The evidence is out: being in a stressful environment diverts your brain’s resources. “To keep the body running, the brain removes and even shrinks areas of your mind that you use for goal setting, being creative, and making decisions.” Mr. Widrich uses the term “prolonged,” which I interpret as “chronic.” I’m guessing that refers to the stress we face daily, the stress we have grown to think of as normal, the stress that the late, great Gilda Radner, in her guise as Roseanne Roseannadanna referred to as “It’s always something.”

 Mr. Widrich believes you can cultivate emotional resilience by understanding how your brain works. He says, “Next time you feel stressed, anxious, or worried, think about it in the context of these four facts. You might find that it helps you deal with it better.” I believe that understanding your brain, coupled with a simple technique such as counting to 10 before you open your mouth or taking a short walk when you feel frightened or angry can help, too.

Marigranula — 123rf.com

 

How do you “just say no?” You’re a hardworking consultant or enterprise employee. Your day, your week, your life is replete with tasks and deadlines, and it feels as though there’s just not enough time to get things done. Yet you’re under pressure to dive in and say “yes” to everything that comes done the pike?  In an environment where you feel that your performance and your attitude are under scrutiny, how do you manage your time better? How do you relieve the sometimes-overwhelming sense of stress you live with?

Elizabeth Grace Saunders (@RealLifeE), a time management consultant, has excellent suggestions in her article “9 Ways to Say No to Busywork and Unrealistic Deadlines.” This piece is a real gem, because it not only points out the traps to avoid but also suggests some politic, but non-smarmy ways to “just say no.”

Ms. Saunders notes that her clients struggle to manage three areas: time commitments, tasks, and time frames. Consider these scenarios.

Time management

You’re sitting innocently in your designated space and you’re asked to volunteer on a committee. Your commitment could add up to as much as 60 hours a year for something that doesn’t really grab you. (Yes, it’s a good initiative but … ) So you smile sweetly and say something like, “Thanks for thinking of me, but I must respectfully say no, because I’m maxed out right now. I’m sure you can understand.”

Ms. Saunders says, “Saying no to time commitments that don’t align with your priorities or needs can lead to a small amount of initial discomfort but save you hours of time in the end.”

Tasks

We all have a list of daily tasks as long as our arms and the more contact we have with our fellow human beings, the greater the potential for that list to expand. Ms. Saunders notes that you have “every right to say no” when someone asks you to do something that’s not on your list of responsibilities. But you may need to retrain others not to look to you as their first resort.

She suggests saying something like, “Gee, that’s not one of my competencies, but I know someone who can help. Here’s her contact info.” She also proposes that the next time you’re in a meeting and tasks are discussed, keep your mouth shut. “Not offering to help is one of the best ways to say no.” All this assumes of course that you can’t genuinely can’t take on anything more. My thought: Saying no is a professional responsibility, not a matter of caprice.

Time Frames

Everyone wants everything yesterday, and they can come to you with deadlines that are somewhat arbitrary and negotiable or just plain unreasonable

For a deadline that can shift a day or so without issues, you can propose an alternate deadline. I’ve done this, and it works. For a bigger project with an unreasonable timeframe given the other things you must do, try asking your boss to create the priorities. Or respond with a counterproposal. The key, from what I read in Ms. Saunders’ article is to sound calm, not frantic. Here’s her suggestion: “I hear that you would like this by the end of the month. But with the other projects we have going on, it won’t be possible to meet that deadline. I would like to propose a deadline of mid-next month. Does that sound reasonable?”

I believe we will always have too much to do. (A business coach I worked with for a while said that small business owners will always feel “overwhelmed,” and I think that’s true of any employed person these days.)

But as Ms. Saunders says, “The difference between living a life of peace and productivity versus a life of stress and resentment could lie in one simple skill: Learning how to say no.”

Tatiana Vasilyeva — 123rf.com

As a freelance copywriter and editor who lives life on the clock, I’m always interested in better time management. So I paid particular attention to a recent post from Patty Azzarello (@pattyazzarello) titled “Protect your time: And don’t feel guilty.” Aha, I said to myself, I bet there’s some good stuff here that I should share with my LinkedIn network. And I was right. In fact, I recommend reading her post yourself—it will take you about three minutes—and subscribing to her weekly wisdom. It’s definitely worth your time.

Before her tips—and there are just two, but they are powerful—here’s what’s Ms. Azzarello believes is behind the trouble you may be having protecting your time.

Dealing with Interruptions

Most of us deal with interruptions. Whether we’re in a cube, an office, one of those dreadful open plan work environments, or working at home, we all get interrupted. All the time.

Ms. Azzarello talks to people who try to schedule their time but still can’t manage to get a few uninterrupted hours to think during the work week. And she says, “You need to give yourself permission to schedule this time, and then you really need to protect it.”

She notes that many of us respond to interruptions because of the pressure we put on ourselves to be always available.(This pressure may be much greater than what others place on us.) Ironically, folks who are chronically busy because they want to be perceived as super-responsive get laid off anyway. And sadly, “Your company can absorb an unlimited amount of work from you and not really care.”

Here’s what you need to do

Ms. Azzarrello recommends hiding. Yes, hiding. Making yourself “physically out of sight.” I am here to tell you that this simple, but not necessarily easy, tactic works, whether you work for yourself or for a company.

When I need to think about how to say something or simply need to stop compulsively checking email, the best thing I can do for my clients and myself  is to take a 30-minute walk. Even though I’m listening to birdsong or patting my favorite neighborhood pup, my brain is still working subliminally as my Fitbit records my steps.

Hiding is great, but you also need to change people’s expectations of your behavior. Ms. Azzarrello says, “What you need to do is change those expectations with new habits. And that can be difficult…but maybe not as difficult as you think.” (I think you also need to change your expectations of yourself. If you’ve kept yourself super-busy for years and prided yourself on responding quickly to others’ requests, you need to retrain yourself, too. )

Ms. Azzarello suggests that you start small and repeat what you plan to do—working without interruption for two hours on Thursdays—so that it sinks in. As she says, “You need to train people how to treat you.”

At the heart of her post, I believe, is the message that only you can manage your time. (“Do or don’t do,” said Yoda. “There is no try.”) And time management is important because you want to be involved in activities with great value to your company and yourself.

Ion Chiosea — 123rf.com

 

Building email relationships is similar to building relationships in general. You want to avoid doing things that annoy your target audience, confuse it, or cause it to distrust you. (Tricking your audience is high on the “causing distrust” list.)

Kaitlin Westbrook (@kaitwarren) has written a great article about five things not to do—based on a fun, perky little video featuring Elizabeth Duffy, professional services team lead at Emma.

Leave bait-and-switch behind

Let’s say your subject line mentions that you’re going to ask an important question, but there’s no question in the body of the email. This is bait-and-switch exemplified. If your readers click and see no question, they will distrust you and may be unlikely to open any more of your communications. Go for a “realistic hook,” instead. See my posts on better subject lines and preheader text.

Say goodbye to batch-and-blast missives

If you send out an email that’s relevant to only part of your list to the entire list, you risk being perceived as irrelevant. Ms. Duffy’s example is sending a message with the subject line “It’s sweater weather” to Florida residents. The whole effect is “one size fits none.” Instead, segment your message for location. Segmented, targeted emails make sense, and they generate more revenue than traditional blasts.

Ditch CTA choices

That is, offer your readers a single, clear-cut choice. If you offer two choices, they will be confused about which one you want them to make. Too much choice can be paralyzing, as your readers consider which one is the most desirable. Kind of like the lady or the tiger, though on a lower  level. As with segmented emails, limiting choice to one option generates more revenue.

Avoid friction words

Along with limiting choice, you will want to make your CTA really appealing. Many of us have been brought up on commands, which are supposed to be desirable, because they’re so, well, commanding. But being ordered to do something can create an undesirable sense of friction. Ms. Westbrook says, “It’s better to make the CTA an opportunity, not a command—and make converting sound beneficial.” So soften things up a bit. Instead of “buy now,” for example, you might want to say something like, “See what awaits you.”

Go for buttons, not links

Busy people—and aren’t we all? —scan emails, and you should make it super-obvious what they need to do. Buttons are a boon. Ms. Westbrook notes that click-through rates increase by 28% with buttons rather than hyperlinks. I think they have the same irresistible quality as that little “Drink me” sign in Alice in Wonderland.

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: we all complain about email, but we couldn’t do business or conduct our personal lives without it. So it’s incumbent on us all to make our electronic communications as pleasant, pointed, and concise as possible.

alexmillos — 123rf.com

Last week’s post discussed the importance of preheader text, and this week’s post continues that theme. Alex Ilhan (@omgitsonlyalex) of Email on Acid presents excellent ideas to help you improve preheader text.

Last week, I talked about how your subject line and preheader text can and should work hand in hand to grab reader attention and increase open rates. So often, Mr. Ilhan points out, one of the first things your audience may see is “Having trouble viewing this email? Click here to view it in a web browser.” And he asks if this is how you want to use such valuable real estate.

Clearly, the answer is a resounding “no.” And here are five simple ideas to help you transform reader indifference into a desire to engage.

1. Offer an overview. Use the preheader to summarize the message you want to convey in the body of the email. I bet you can think of great examples of content that stimulated your interest and examples that squandered the space.
2. “Make your subject line and preheader text one cohesive message.” In her 2015 post, Pamella Neely also urges the use of this technique.
3. Make a special offer. That is, use the preheader to tell readers what they’ll see in the email. This is an excellent place to mention discounts, freebies, or perhaps a special event.
4. Get personal. This works for the subject line, and as Mr. Ilhan says, it most likely will work with your preheader. But make sure you get your reader’s name and any other personal details right.
5. “Write fun, engaging copy.” This is probably not as easy as it sounds, so get colleagues and friends to read your copy and offer their opinions. Humor can be dicey, and what you think is terrific may fall flatter than half a pancake when read by discerning eyes. Fatuous humor is annoying, of course, but you definitely don’t want to offend anyone.
6. Bonus point: Preview your preheader. There are tools out there that allow you to see what preheader text looks like on popular email clients and devices. I’m guessing that there’s no need to advise you not to skip this step.

We all get too much email. It bounces merrily into our inboxes, lying in wait for us every morning. Even those of us who like email confess that it gets pretty overwhelming at times. So use preheader text to ease the burden on your readers.

raw pixel — 123rf.com

 

As Pam Neely (@PamellaNeely, @Copyblogger) has pointed out, preheader text that makes smart use of space is particularly important, because more emails are opened on mobile devices than on desktops.

So it behooves those of us who run marketing campaigns—or create content for them for them—to know how to optimize preheader text. And you know what preheader text is, right? It’s the text that follows the subject line when you open an email in your inbox. Your readers use it, along with the subject line, as a prescreening tool to decide whether or not to open your message.

Here’s what you need to do to create an effective a preheader.

Keep it short

As with your subject line, you’ll want to keep it brief so that emails client don’t cut it off. A preheader is valuable real estate; you don’t want to squander it by using more than 40-50 characters. iOS native apps may give you a little more, but keep your preheader short anyway. In this case, less really is more.

Think about how it will look

Preheader text usually appears next to the subject line, because the email client pulls it from the top of your message. Ms. Neely notes that preheader text can consume anywhere from 5 to 20% of a phone’s screen real estate, so you need to think about how it will look wherever it appears. (Some email campaigns bury longer preheader text in the body of their emails for better use of the screen and readability.)

Enrich your subject line

Your subject line and preheader appear next to each other, so they should play nice. As Ms. Neely says, “ … the two need to work together to tell a cohesive story rather than be thought of as two separate parts of your email campaign.” This really makes sense, and it drives home the point that even with limited character count, you still need to think in terms of telling a story.

Include a call to action

The best crafted message comes to naught if you don’t tell your audience what you want it to do—which is to open your email. Why not do it sooner, rather than later? I add, a call to action is great, as long as it isn’t misleading. You never want to squander potential good will.

If you’re like me, you complain about how you’re buried under an avalanche of email. You probably have even unsubscribed to various lists. (Which you end up nullifying by opting into others that seemed really, really interesting.)

I still think of email the same way I do about getting a package in the mail. Yes, it’s old fashioned, and yet the excitement of double-clicking and reading the particulars of an offer has undeniable appeal. Just make sure that your message delivers on the promise of your subject line and preheader.

Bloomua — 123rf.com

 

The body of your email message is brilliant, but what about your subject line? As McKenzie Gregory, formerly of Emma Email Marketing and now of Building Connected points out, “There’s nothing more frustrating than working long and hard on an email, only to get abysmal open rates because the subject line didn’t hit the right note with your subscribers.”

What can you do to increase the possibility that your email won’t languish in a recipient’s inbox or be immediately deleted? Of course, there are no guarantees. We’re all busier than we should be and are bombarded with communications, but Ms. Gregory offers five excellent suggestions to improve your subject lines:

1. Make good use of character count. Marketers generally try to keep subject lines at 40 to 50 characters. (A few years back, I attended a webinar where the presenter recommended no more than 41.) Ms. Gregory notes that you can go for fewer or more to increase the likelihood that your message will stand out. It’s well to remember, though, that less is more. So many people open email on their phones, and iPhones, for example, cut off subject lines somewhere around 35 characters.
2. Offer something valuable. That is, tell potential readers what they’ll get if they open your message. Ms. Gregory says, “This one’s a bit of a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how few brands consider it when writing their subject lines.” Be explicit about the content and never be misleading. Huge thanks to Ms. Gregory for this great link.
3. Pay attention to the preheader. According to Ms. Gregory, “. . . preheader text can actually be what makes or breaks the success of your subject line.” Preheader text adds octane—or not—to your subject line, gives you more characters to work with, and is likely what convinces a recipient to open your message. Be aware of how much preheader text various email clients support.
4. Know your audience. And your brand, of course. Be authentic. Don’t get cute if that’s not your brand voice. Similarly, don’t be dead serious if you’ve been effective with a light-hearted message.
5. Run tests. In today’s data-driven marketing environment, this should go without saying. You assume that you know your audience, but nothing is static. Your industry may be changing. Technology is evolving. You may have expanded your audience. So it’s a good idea to keep on top of changes. I think testing will really repay you, even if it takes extra time.

A while back, some pundits were predicting the demise of email. But it’s still here and not about to go anywhere, so it makes sense to do all you can to improve your chances of being read.

 Artur Szczyblo — 123rf.com

 

 

What’s your take on change management? Are you an enthusiast who thinks it’s the best way to handle potentially transformative organizational change? Or do you see it as a smoothly orchestrated attempt to convince employees that they need to work harder with no increase in compensation?

I confess that I have often been in the latter category. During a conversation years ago, I remember bursting out that change management was a disingenuous PR ploy. Far from being offended, the person with whom I was speaking responded, “Well, if employees aren’t willing to get with the program, they can always find another place to work.”

Organizational change is inevitable, and it’s clear that it can be handled well, poorly, or somewhere in between. If you want to feel better about change management, you should read an article by Patti Sanchez (@pattisan), chief strategy officer of the well-respected Duarte, Inc. and coauthor, with Nancy Duarte, of Illuminate.

If you’re the CEO of a large company or the owner of a small business contemplating the need for major changes, read on. If you’re the employee of a company on the verge of change, read on to get a sense for how well your management is preparing you for what may be major changes in your work life.

According to Ms. Sanchez, successful organizational change has its foundation in empathy. She also makes an important point: it’s not so much what the change encompasses, it’s how people feel about it. Further, she observes it’s how information about change is communicated to employees during a change that matters more than what information is communicated.

It seems, then, that empathy is important, but technique (my term) is also critical. Ms. Sanchez makes these recommendations:

First, profile your audience. Create personas for key employee segments and interview individuals in each one. Probe for their feelings, beliefs, and concerns. Ask them what they hope the company will or won’t do and listen to what they say empathically. And re-interview them. Ms. Sanchez says, “But, considering that people’s wants and needs will evolve throughout the process, you should reevaluate these personas during every phase of the journey.”

Tell those facing change what to expect. Ms. Sanchez says “. . . The more informed your people are, the more they’ll be able to deal with discomfort.” I’m thinking that the more people know, the better you’ll be able to reduce gossip and rumor-mongering which proliferates bad morale and a generally bad attitude. That’s got to be a benefit. Ms. Sanchez notes the transparency will help management build credibility and trust.

Finally, involve people at all levels of the organization, because “transformation won’t succeed without broad involvement.” That makes sense. On the other hand, I believe that when people are solicited for their ideas, which are then ignored or brushed off, change management seems manipulative.

Yes, organizational change is inevitable. It can bring good news or bad news, but the way it’s communicated is critical. I’ve spoken to people who believe that change management reduces organizational trauma and ultimately strengthens a company and a brand. I’ve also spoken to people who are more cynical.

What has your experience been?

Tashatuvango — 123rf.com

 

How do you fix a sales relationship that got started the wrong way? Shari Levitin (@sharilevitin), author of Heart and Sell knows how. This sales expert, who is a friend of the redoubtable Jill Konrath (@jillkonrath), takes you through the steps of getting a sales relationship back on track in her article “How to Recover After Getting Off on the Wrong Foot.”

The reason I find this article so useful is that it’s not just about recovering a sales relationship; really, it’s about fixing any human relationship that you’ve messed up. (Anyone who reads my posts with any regularity knows that I think we’re all in sales every day, even though that’s not our job title.

Here’s what Ms. Levitin recommends.

“Admit Your Missteps.” In my opinion, this is really hard to do, which is what makes it essential. Ms. Levitin says, “Its always tempting to blame other people or external circumstances for our missteps, but when you do this, you fail to grow.” How true. I can think back, with embarrassment, of many times when I may have looked or even sounded contrite, but it was clear that I was palming my failure off on someone else. (I bet you can too.)

“Put the Shoe on the Other Foot.” In other words, be empathic. Really, truly listen to what your customer is saying. Ms. Levitin says, “You may or may not be able to make things better but you can start to mend the relationship.” Empathy is wonderful, but I think it may take practice. We’re living in a fast-moving world, and I wonder how many of us think there’s much reward in empathy.

“Don’t Get De-Feeted.” This suggestion speaks to our all-too-human desire to fix things fast, whether it’s a problematic sales relationship or our relationship with our Aunt Maude. Ms. Levitin suggests the we ask our customer what they’d like to do. She also cautions against making promises we can’t keep. And she says, “If you can’t fulfill a promise, proactively create new agreements, then make sure to follow through.” If this last idea seems just a little off, think about it. We all want what we want when we want it, but remember how you felt when the customer service rep suggested an acceptable alternative. Maybe not overjoyed, but reasonably o.k.

Moving a sales relationship that didn’t start well—or any relationship for that matter—forward requires courage, competence, and creativity. I’d like to think I’ve got those qualities at the ready, and I’m guessing that you do too.

Ion Chiosea — 123rf.com