In Silicon Valley, it seems, everyone is smart and exceedingly fast moving, but are those success traits? Perhaps not, says Beth Monaghan, co-founder and CEO of InkHouse, a PR and social content agency based in Boston and San Francisco.
In her Fortune article, “Why It’s Better To Be Convincing Than To Be Right,” Ms. Monaghan boldly states, “You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room to be successful.” True. In fact, in his landmark 1995 book “Emotional Intelligence,” Daniel Goleman wrote at length about the successful careers and satisfying lives of those would not have been predicted to do all that well—the guy who graduated somewhere near the middle of his class at a state university but ended up running a multimillion dollar company.
Ms. Monaghan, who by any measure is successful, started out by imitating successful women. She noticed how they conducted themselves and realized that she could do the same. “In other words, I was learning how to fake it, which is the first step to becoming successful.”
Her journey to her “authentic self” focused on confidence, empathy, and authenticity.
Confidence
Ms. Monaghan believes that you can learn confidence. From my vantage point of many years in the business world, I agree with her. But you do need to work at it. Once, a boss I detested advised me to “be an actress.” A colleagues said “Never let them see you sweat.” For women in particular, it means voicing an opinion without letting your voice rise at the end as though you are asking a question (a vocal style I’ve noticed even in very successful businesswomen.) Ms. Monaghan also mentions ceasing to apologize for things that are not your fault and offering a firm handshake. To this I’d add, get rid of your nasal intonation. Young women often sound nasal-y, and I think it’s because they’re not breathing deeply and effectively enough.
Empathy
Says Ms. Monaghan, “As a female CEO, I am a strong believer that the future of the workplace depends on the skills that women naturally possess, such as empathy and emotional intelligence.” Empathy to her, is all about imagining the lives of others. Introverts—and I am one—are frequently faulted for appearing reserved, even disconnected. Yet those traits don’t preclude empathy. In fact, our ability to observe and, if you will, to build castles in the air and live in them is a great help in building empathy.
Authenticity
Imitation is great, I think, if you’re going for general technique. But attempting to make yourself into an exact copy of another is not ultimately going to be successful. “Faking it until you make it” works because it gives you the space you need to develop your own style. Ms. Monaghan says, “This is where confidence comes in again – a comfort level with who you are makes it possible to use your own unique assets to fuel success.”
Clicking the link to Ms. Monaghan’s article takes you to MPW Insiders, an online community where business leaders answer career and leadership questions. If you find the whole of this article useful, you’ll probably want to bookmark the link.
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