The U.S. is a competitive society, and many of us do not know what it means to be a good loser. I believe that the concept is mostly given lip service during our years in the educational system, where we pick up the message, perhaps subliminally, that being a good loser means that we’re losers.
Recently, I read an interesting article by Robert Glazer, the founder and CEO of Acceleration Partners. Every Friday, Mr. Glazer publishes a blog, Friday Forward, where he offers spot-on observations about business and life that resonate even with a relatively non-competitive person like me.
His post, “Losing Graciously,” was one of the best I’ve ever read on the topic. Read the whole piece if you want sound business counsel and also for its real-life relevance.
Mr. Glazer starts by discussing a recent Super Bowl, the Eagles’ epic win, and his effort, surrounded by Eagles’ fans, to be as gracious as possible in defeat. This he contrasted with an email he had been forwarded by a salesperson who had lost a deal. He notes, “Their approach was to reply in frustration, speak poorly of the competitor’s product and make false assertions. What they did not do was to seek understanding as to why their product was not chosen.”
No one likes to lose, of course, but to paraphrase Mr. Glazer, it’s far too easy to blame defeat on external forces, rather than looking inside yourself. Failing to do this essentially dooms you to a cycle of repeating errors and remaining blind to your weaknesses.
Mr. Glazer comments, “World-class performers don’t like to lose but they learn how to lose well and graciously … This is one reason we have made it a policy at Acceleration Partners that managers must complete a debrief form when we lose a client or make a major mistake.” This exercise is more than perfunctory: managers are asked to detail what they and their team could have done better and to present ideas for improvement. The company has also gained insights by asking prospects why they chose a competitor and listening hard to the answer.
I like this approach. It avoids alienating a prospect who may yet end up as a customer and it keeps life moving forward. As Mr. Glazer puts it, “We avoid the roller-coaster ride of highs and lows. We celebrate our wins, remain humble, and move on to the next challenge. Likewise, we reflect on our failures, adjust, and move forward without wondering what might have been.”
Keep on learning, keep on moving. It doesn’t get much better than that.
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