I recently re-read a Manta Tip of the Day on using body language to improve communication with customers. One gem—that women nod to indicate they’re listening and men to indicate agreement—sparked my interest, and I decided to explore a little further. (As a child of the ‘70’s, I remember the first popular book about body language and the interest it generated—especially around making readers more romantically successful.)
You’ll find great stuff at wikihow. The entry isn’t super elegantly expressed, but it’s packed with information. Take 10 minutes to read the whole piece, because I’m only presenting what interested me.
Interpreting Body Language
First, before you begin your observations, remind yourself to be subtle. Gawking simply won’t do. And watch your own body language. Here’s what to look at:
Proximity ‒ The closer someone gets to you physically, the more warmly he feels. Be aware, though, that the permissible degree of proximity varies across cultures.
Head position ‒ A tilted head can indicate sympathy. Combined with a smile, it’s playful or flirtatious. A lowered head may indicate an attempt to hide something. In some cultures, though, it’s a sign of respect. A cocked head may signal confusion or a desire to challenge you.
Eyes ‒ People who look at the floor may be shy or upset. Dilated pupils indicate interest—or perhaps substance abuse. Someone who doesn’t look you in the eye may be lying or perhaps just distracted. (In some cultures, looking someone you don’t know well you in the eye is a sign of disrespect.)
Mirroring ‒ Someone who mirrors you is trying to establish rapport. Change your position and observe the response.
Arm and hand position ‒ Crossed arms is a sign that someone isn’t receptive to what you’re saying. It could also be a sign of reserve or even a lack of comfort with their appearance. Someone who rubs his hands or touches himself may be trying to achieve a level of comfort in an uncomfortable situation. Closed or clenched hands may indicate nervousness or anger.
Gestures and facial expressions ‒ Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes are often signs of skepticism. Raised eyebrows can indicate disagreement, especially if someone is also brushing their hair back with their fingers. A slight frown, coupled with pushing eyeglasses up the nose, also signals disagreement.
Foot movement ‒Tapping the feet, shifting weight, or moving the position of the feet can signal impatience, fright, or intimidation. Context provides clues about what’s going on. Slow shuffling indicates boredom. A person who sits with feet crossed at the ankles is generally at ease.
Tuning into Body Language
Understanding what people are saying through eye movements, hand gestures, and shifting body positions can keep you amused during many an interminable meeting.
More important, though, it can help you figure out what’s going on if verbal communication doesn’t offer many clues. And if you want to take the high road, knowing what is being communicated can help you ease the tension in a tight situation.
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