Negative feedback can be painful, annoying, and inconvenient. And we all get it. Whether it’s a comment on our latest hair color or where an important presentation fell flat, we’re bound to hear from others, good or bad.
So what do you do with negative feedback? Business technology writer and speaker Minda Zetlin has put together a list of 13 excellent suggestions from speakers at INBOUND 2016. Of course, no one really wants to deal with negative feedback, but I think we all benefit from considering what we need to do when it lands.
Here’s Ms. Zetlin’s list:
- Listen.
- Ask questions.
- Say thank you.
- Don’t take it personally.
- Take time to cool off.
- Consider the source.
- Use it as an opportunity to learn.
- Look for the gap between what you intended and what they heard.
- Look for the wisdom of the crowd.
- Use it to improve your own feedback.
- Respond—if appropriate—but run your response by someone else first.
- Balance good with bad.
- And then let it go.
What I like about these suggestions is that, though they initially sound like conventional wisdom, they really are not. Each one of them contains a germ of wisdom that makes Ms. Zetlin’s article worth reading in its entirety.
My two favorites?
“Take time to cool off.” (Interestingly, this is one of the longer entries on the list.) Wait at least 24 hours, which should give you time to figure out what’s going on and how to calm yourself. Actually, though, you may need longer. And one of Ms. Zetlin’s sources suggests writing the negative feedback down and revisiting it in a month. A month? Yes. Because after a month, you will have ruminated enough to know what to do and will be far less likely to stick your foot in your mouth. At least, that’s my thinking. I know that when I’ve waited to react, I’ve always been glad.
My second fave? “Say thank you.” Not only do you take the “high moral ground” when your feedback provider is being malicious but you also take them off guard (my thought). And if someone is genuinely trying to help you, then what could be better than expressing your appreciation.
Ms. Zetlin ends her article by noting that the final entry on the list—“And then let it go.”—may be the “smartest advice of all.”
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